Are men and women so different that they can possibly have different meanings for the famous words “I need some space.” Yes many times when a woman’s definition of I need space can be a lot different than a man’s definition of these words. If you have not read the post on what men mean when they need space then go check that post out but for now we are focusing on our women and they mean when they say these words.
Many times when a women is in a committed relationship, very seldomly is she looking for a way to step out, rather many women are looking for a man that is just as committed as she is. Now this is not to say that you don’t have your women players out there looking to have a good time, while trying to hold down a relationship all at the same time but for the most part I want to believe that most women have their man and are looking to keep their man.
So if your woman was to tell you that she needs her space, what is she asking you for exactly? This is a definite tough one for the simple fact that most women don’t ever really know what they want.
Space is a word used for women to get you either out of their hair, meaning you might be a little too attached for her liking, space can mean that she needs time to think about what she’s doing with someone like you and whether or not the relationship is worth her time, space can mean that she just needs time to be away from the stresses of a relationship and just needs some “me” time, space can mean that she is trying to get your attention by scaring you into thinking that she might not want to be with you. Space for a woman, can basically mean a whole lot or really nothing at all. So ultimately it depends on where your relationship is.
If your in a relationship and everything seems to be going well and all of a sudden a woman is asking for space then maybe you need to be asking your woman some questions and trying to get done to her real reasons for asking for this space. If things in the relationship aren’t going so well, then as a man you need to definitely get what I like to call “your chips up” meaning you need to be putting in some overtime in your relationship if you are looking for it to work.
In marriage Does I need space means divorce for women? – Why you must Opt for Marriage Counseling over Divorce
If a woman is asking you for space then find out what kind of space she’s looking for, maybe she’s stressed out or maybe your doing something that is constantly upsetting her or making her unhappy. If you want the relationship to work, then make sure that you guys have good communication as to why things are the way they are and what it is you both can do to make it better.
I understand that some times you may not be able to find out what’s wrong with your woman, in cases like that you must seek professional help. You must seek a couple counselor, a marriage counselor, someone that will help you see what the problems in your relationship are and help you fix them. There many problems that people face in relationships nowadays take a look at the 7 most common relationship problems and how to fix them.
xoxo
Continuation..
But i still understand her situation, then eventhough she has no much time for me, i still do the efforts, i send her chocolates, flowers with a small note into their gate.. i even surprise to bring her packlunch which i personally cooked.. for her and for her mom too.. i don’t get angry at her.. then last week.. she said..she want space.. i asked her why.. at first i am confuse because it’s new to me.. i asked her why she still call or txt me eventhough she want some space, then we talked personally, i cried and she cried as well.. i adviced her.. much better if u won’t call or txt me so then i can give your space.. then both of us cried.. she cried a lot.. she said.. she has the problem.. it’s herself.. she said.. i did everything.. i am a great guy and the perfect guy for her..
I guess because she is an independent woman.. she has everything, she have told me that she just miss being single.. she felt guilt on herself because she can’t do her responsibilities at me as my gf..
Before i went home, we promised to each other that she should txt or call me if she feels she love me so much.. and if she needs me. We cried, we kissed, we hugged each other.. we are just like actors and actress from a romantic movie that night.. she cried a lot in front of me.. i cried a lot too..
Now.. 2days has passed.. i am still hoping that we’ll be together and we’ll gonna make our relationship stronger..
I let her on her personal space as of the moment.. i know it kills me inside sometimes.. but, all i need to do know is not to lose hope..
Hey Jin, thank you for posting, the thing is she kind of told you from the get go how it was going to be. Some times people want space. Right now although she’s dealing wither mom’s situation I guess now she’s reach her cut off date. Your job is to be understanding. You can still try to get in contact with her try to make her see that she’s better with you then without you. Some people don’t know how to keep something good going for a long time. Again my advice to you is to show her how good you are to her and how good you can be, that’s all you can do.
I hope someone will gonna response me for this..
Before we started our relationship, my girlfriend have told me that she has this attitude that she may feel that she want to stop the relationship for unknown reason, then i said.. don’t worry hon, we can handle that.. then we had our relationship for 3 months.. we are so intimate or sweet whenever we’re together, i met her relatives and they all wanted me for her.. there was a time we had dinner in a long table into their garden and her mom,aunts,cousins we’re asking when do we plan to settledown or marrying each other.. we just smiled.. 🙂 honestly speaking i did everything, she said i was the best man she has ever met, for her i am the perfect guy… suddenly, her mom had a surgery into her heart, i stayed beside her and help and supported her and mom, then that was the time when she spended a lot if time to her mom, but i still understand that situatuan..
@WAYNE: So what happened in the end? Are you still together?
Exact same situation I am in, to the letter.
I’m going to say something here that sounds counter-intuitive. You have to argue & fight with women every so often. It sounds crazy, but this really works!
Every women seems to get moody every so often, like every few months or so (and I don’t mean with her cycle, although it can occur at the same time). If you know her well enough, you will feel a change in her attitude, for no apparent reason. When this happens, argue with her; get pissed-off, storm-out of the room or house. Put her on the defensive; let HER be in the dog-house for awhile. Go hang out with some friends for a few hours/or the rest of the night. I personally fake or exaggerate getting angry, but it must be believable. Don’t be afraid to be a bit of a prick.
You can either let her try to reconcile with you, or pretend to calm-down later, depending on the woman. Never let it go for more than a week. One night is best, if possible, but feel your way through it. After that, everything will be good again, and sometimes better for a short time. Like a shot of adrenaline to the relationship. You have to pay attention to your woman to feel how far to take it. DON’T overdo it! Also don’t do it more often than needed, if you do it too much, it will hurt your relationship.
I know several guys that do this, and all agree; whether it’s intentional or not, that this works. Women just seem to need something like this every now & then. It seems to reach something deep down inside them. Why it works; I’ll leave that to the psychologists to figure out.
If they ask for space, give them the universe. In the mean time go out and meet new people. If you meet someone new tell the woman that wanted space that she just lost you to someone that wants to be with you.
Don’t do water faucet (on and off again) relationships, your not a plummer!
@Wayne – I feel your pain man, I recently started dating this girl a few months ago, and everything was going so GREAT!!! This is the 1st girl I’ve dated in 4 years since my ex left me broken hearted… it was very hard for me to trust again… But when this girl came along I gave a 110% because she loved me and showed me that she loved me… I can honestly say this has been one of the BEST Relationships I’ve ever been in, and I’m very much in love with this woman… and she made me feel like she felt the exact same way herself… Then one day out of the blue, just like that she wanted “space” I have no idea why or what’s going on. She assures me that there is no one else but I’m having a hard time trying to believe that… truth is I don’t know what’s going on.
She went from telling me all the time that she loved me and she missed me, to only saying it if I say it first… I’m in the process of giving her space now but it’s hard. She’s coming over this weekend because it’s my Birthday and I feel like she’s only doing it out of guilt because it’s my Birthday not because she wants too. I’m so miserable right now, I can’t eat, or sleep and I’ve started smoking again to deal with the stress. I would just like to know what happened to make her feel this way… I’ve tried talking to her but she won’t tell me anything except she needs some space… she won’t open up and tell me what the real problem is…
She is still very attracted to me sexually however once that’s over with she pushes me away. I don’t know what to make of it… but she’s driving me crazy… Part of me wonders if I shouldn’t just end it now before she ends it for us… I asked her point blank if she wanted to break up, and she says no but actions speak louder than words. And her actions say otherwise…
I think she’s only with me because she feels guilty for wanting to break up. I told her that I did want to be with her, but only if she wants to be with me too… I don’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t want me. While talking about this whole issue, she’s told me that no other man has ever treated her as good as I have or loved her like I did, she told me it’s hard for a woman to find that. That it’s rare. But then she will turn right around and push me away emotionally. Why do women who say these things never appreciate what they have when they have it?
I honestly don’t know what’s going on or what to do except back off and give her the space she’s asking for. Which is what I’m doing as we speak, but it’s killing me… I feel like I’ve lost my best friend and I don’t know what to do…
No offence to anyone out there reading this but you women are CRAZY !!! and you drive us men CRAZY right along with you !!!
Scared, Hurt & Confused…
Hello. Me (27) and my girlfriend (23) have been together for 4 years. I’m her first love. we had a rocky start as I had scars from a previous relationship to the point where I never trusted her even though I wanted too. This went on for more than a year, but for some reason she stood my my side, Which I’m really grateful for. No other girl would have put up with this, I know! anyway, I finally sorted my head out and started trusting her 100% things were starting to look great up until now, she found out that she could not do a PHD degree without doing a Masters degree first, which set her plans back to years. (I’m not sure I supported her enough with this) so she had to take a year out to look for a job to save up for her tuition fees. Nothing gets in the way of her plans, and I’ve always respected this!
Finally we had a conversation which lead to a deep discussion, in which she told me she was really unhappy and said that her heart is not in it anymore. She says she still loves me but isn’t in love with me and said her heat is broken, I’m really not sure why. she said I was she doesn’t feel “appreciated” maybe I wan’t there for her enough? She said that all this has built up inside of her for 7 months and was unsure how or when to tell me. My immediate thought was ‘If she doesn’t try to talk to me how do I know that she was unhappy?’ So then she requested a two week break, is this a good thing or bad thing? She said she will miss me, and wants to know if she will miss me more. she said to meet at hers in two weeks to have a talk at 1pm, And said she will be definitely ready to talk at this point. She also confirmed that there isn’t any one else and that she isn’t going anywhere. Then, I told her I still want to be with her and I want to make things right. somehow we got intimate, Afterwards I said “so your still attracted to me” she replied “oh aye!” but still wants
a two week break to miss me with absolute no contact. I don’t know what to make of this, i’m guessing she’s confused. I’m really scared incase she doesn’t want me back. :’(
Joe , sorry to hear that too . Tony you are right , women are very hard to figure out. When i was away for business trip & work , she will turn to you & say I do not care about her . After spending lots of time with her , she said she need space . what a joke !!! Is just that when a man plays around outside they will say you are not a good man . When i care & sacrify everything for her , she just say she need more space . I am tired of relationship , when through 4 relationship & I am damn tired . Just 1 think lucky i haven get marry yet. I am so afraid of falling in love , it really hurts . I really can’t describe . I work , I pay my own bills & take care everything . I think sometimes i need to love myself more , how to i forget a person? i can’t just start another relationship & forget about her ? Confused ??? Same goes here
Lost & Hurt
Lee
JOE, SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN. MY HEART GOES OUT TO U. SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME. I WAS MARRIED FOR 19 YEARS AND HAVE 2 KIDS. ON CHRISTMAS DAY SHE SAID THAT SHE DID NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE..SHE LEFT THE HOUSE (WHICH I LATER LOST). I ASKED FOR REASONS OF WHY SHE LEFT AND NEVER GOT ONE..DUDE I KNOW IT KILLS U IN SIDE, AT THIS POINT YOU WANT ANSWERS BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU MIGHT GET THEM WHEN ITS TOO LATE.. AFTER 3 YEARS ON ME WAITING FOR HER I MET A WOMAN WHO LOVED ME VERY MUCH AND MADE ME FORGET MY WIFE…SO I FILED FOR A DIVORCE MYSELF.. SHE CRYED IN COURT BUT MY FEELINGS WERE ALL GONE.. BUT GUESS WHAT? IM ON THE SAME BOAT AGAIN AS I SPEAK.. MY HEART IS CHRUSHED AGAIN BY THIS NEW WOMAN..IVE BEEN WITH HER FOR 2 YEARS AND TODAY SHE IS ASKING FOR SPACE.. I THINK IVE LOST HER AND NOT TO ANOTHER MAN..I THINK WOMEN ARE VERY HARD TO FIGURE OUT..I FEEL SICK. HAVENT EATTEN A BITE IN 3 DAYS…I CANT BELIEVE ON IN THIS PAIN AGAIN.. I FOUND OUT WHY MY X-WIFE LEFT CAUSE I SPOKE TO HER A FEW DAYS AGO..SHE LEFT FOR SOMEONE ELSE…BUT MY NEW GIRLFRIEND, ONLY GOD KNOW..IM HERE TO SUPPORT U IN THIS HARD TIME..GOOD GUYS WILL ALWAYS HURT,,, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP..YOU MAY SAY THATS EASY TO SAY BUT I WENT THRU IT AND IM IN IT AGAIN…JUST DATE BUT DONT FALL INLOVE LOVE TILL YOU ARE READY AGAIN..THANKS FOR YOUR TIME..IM HERE BRO…TONY
Joe, I must say this is a very unfortunate situation. Many marriages face the same type of trouble yours is facing right now. Many times the people around us are the main ones causing us to do the unthinkable.
Your wife just probably realized that she has been missing out on the going out, being around friends. The one bad thing with friends is that if they are not having fun they expect the whole group not to have fun. If they are in a crappy relationship they will try to convert all in the group to make them believe that it’s better to do certain things, such as drinking, cheating, etc…
My suggestions to you is that keep insisting on getting through to her, maybe she’s just going through some crisis. If you know your wife you should know if there’s a chance or not.
But one thing I do believe is that women don’t tend to play around when they ask for divorce.
Keep trying to find new ways to reach out to her.
My wife recently told me she needs space and time, but refused to tell my why she needed space and time!
Then she told me she didn’t love me anymore.
She refuses to speak to me and now wants a divorce.
Married 11-years, I am 52, she is 51.
she has refused to see a marriage counselor, she decided to get braces, and now dresses in my 20-y.o. daughters clothes. All of her girlfriends at her job are single, in poor relationships and miserable all the time. In 11 years, we rarely argued. in 11 years, this is the 1st year she was responsible for all the bills, because my business failed due to the economy. IN 2010, I am back on my feet, but she has been gone since January 9th and will not give me the time of day to discuss her issues.
she is 51 and looks under 40. her friends like her company going out because she attracts the men.
Lost and hurt
Joe
Deptford,NJ