What does it mean when a man says “I need some space?”

What does it mean when a man says “I need some space?”

Relationships are tricky, people sometimes say things and don’t really know what they mean or what the outcome may be, based upon certain things that they say. “I need some space” which is one of the things that many people experience  or may hear in their relationships and may not really be sure what it means when it is said to them, and yes it may mean different things to both men and women. But since this is from a woman’s point of view, let me stick to just that.

Ladies, when you have a man and he tells you he needs his space, that can mean a number of things but what it probably means is that he wants to go out there an explore his options, without having to lose you. Most of the time, men don’t really know what they want, they can easily get caught up into things that are pleasing to their eyes, that they forget they already have something good waiting for them at home.

Most men feel that they can have their cake and eat it too. Ladies, ladies, ladies, be careful when your in a relationship and your man tells you he needs space. I’m not telling you not to grant him his wishes but you need to set some boundaries or find out exactly what this space entails. I know most women will feel that if their man say they need space then this just simply means that he doesn’t really want to be with you, if he feels that he needs time away from you. This may also be true, but like we’ve said here before, it’s important that you talk to your partner and find out exactly where their minds are at.

What does it mean when women ask for space?

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What does it mean when people need space to figure out things in a relationship?


  1. I need some advice….I’ve known my current bf for 10 years we’ve been dating now for 8 months 2 weeks ago he went to a friend’s father’s funeral to show support for his friend. I was supposed to go with him but on request from the family I was not able to attend he stayed a couple days longer once he came home there was family issues and some stressors and he said he needs time to air out he was angry and didn’t want to feel like he was taking it out on me it has nothing to do with me he loves me and “he’s not going anywhere” he was supposed to come over the next night but never did…isn’t answering his phone or returning calls…I’m confused and don’t know what to do! HELP!

    • Is there a reason why you think he would want to be away? Are sure of his whereabouts? Was there someone going on in your relationship? If there’s nothing going on I am not sure what to make of it. In life people deal with things differently and some of us require time to think things through. While that is true it’s not good to strain someone along. So can you tell me what was going?

  2. I am going through a rough time right now. My boyfriend of 14 months wants some space again. The first time was about 8 months ago. He said I was just too clingy and so I gave him space but yet he text me the next day to see how I was doing and a few days later he wanted to see me. Anyways we saw each other about 10 days after he needed space. We took things slow again but then I guess my insecurites pushed him away this time. We text a few times and spoke one time. I saw him the other day at a store and we said Hi and he gave me a hug and a kiss? I know he still cares but other than that I have not heard from him? This is confusing me? How long should I be waiting? Yet he said he is not going to date others so yet I feel like I have been pushed away. He does not say good morning to me no more or good night. I am really hurting like I lost him already? Should I ask him again like how long you need this space thing? I am heartbroken. Also he said he misses me too so yes this is very confusing! Please I need your input! Thank you

    • I suggest that you guys have a sit down and really discuss the terms and condition of this break that you are in. Find out why the need for the break, the scope. That way you are not getting to intrusive or don’t waste your time for something that may not happen. So my recommendation is to sit down and discuss this.

  3. Hello
    I have this girl we’re been 3 years now and she suddenly said “Let’s have space” what does it mean? She don’t want breakup because it’s hurting her feelings. What should i do?

  4. Hello….
    I have a friend I am seeing. A very close friend of mine. We did sleep together. We have been on and off for over 4 years. Lately we have been fighting and we both said a lot of hurtful things to each other. I have called him names that I can’t take back and he told me can’t get over the things I did say to him and he needs space. He doesn’t know how long he wants space for. Today I try calling him to talk things through and he told me he doesn’t want to talk and that I have been pushy and he doesn’t want to be friends with me not more. He has other things he has been stressed about and I am not helping him. He wants to end our friendship and I am hurt by it. He said if we become friends again things would be different. I am confused and sad. I want things to be back. I feel like a horriable person

  5. Hi, I’ve been going out with this guy for 4 months. We had both broken up about 3-4 month ago from our previous relationships. He approached me and was very into me, I wasnt sure however so I kept asking him to take it slow. Strange though he constantly wanted to see me and came to my place and wanted to spend the lazy sundays with me but didnt really want to take me out. When I said it he said he goes out with the boys on friday and sat nights and he cant take me. He is 29 and 6 years younget than me but his friends are about 6 year younger than him. When I didnt give him pressure if was all fine but when after 3 months I put the pressure on him and asked him if we were exclusive he said he needs to think about it. He took my nagging and continued to see me as always. Mind you from the start he always had excuses and there was always some kind of drama happening in his life and for a fact I know some where true but not sure about all of it. Then the dramas got more and more. He told me he likes me but he is under alot of pressure from these dramas with family and also me. The he got more distant.. He would send me random messages saying when he is stressed he shuts down and that he knows its been hard on me but he just wants space. When I pressured him more he closed up more and even stopped replying. Then finally I begged him to tell me what is wrong and he said he likes me but he really feels the pressure and asked me to give him some space. But again he assured me that he likes me but he is scared of getting hurt and so he has backed off a bit. I said ok but is this goodbye? and he said didnt you read my text I like you whey would I say goodbye. So that was the last I heard from him which was on saturday. I said ok I’ll give him his space but I’m freaking out if he has met someone else and that is why he is doing this. I never begged him to stay with me but I did pressure him. On various occassions I even gave him many opportunities to end things, even though we are not even exclusive. But he never wanted to end things. He always either said no or dismissed it. So I dont get it. It’s hard as I like him but I’m very confused as to what is happening and what I should do??? please help- Thank you.

    • People have their ways and some times they can’t move away from it. Your job as a lady is not to pursue someone that’s not willing. If the person is not ready for you there’s nothing really you can do. YOu need to make him work for you not the other way around. If he has met someone else you can’t really do too much about that. So make this guy work for you.

  6. I specifically told that I do want them back. I told him that I love him and I understand. I hope he doesn’t think of it that way. Should I reach out and make sure he knows?

  7. Hi…

    I wear them everyday.. I loved these gifts but I just couldn’t bear the thought of having them with me right now. I told him that I do want them back.. But when he’s ready to talk. I also have a shirt that I owe him. We both hold a piece of something we owe each other. I wasn’t thinking much at that time.. But perhaps it was my self conscious telling me that I had to do this to make sure that I stay steadfast and see this to the end. I did take back one of the jewellery that represented strength. He told me to wear that when I was testing.

    It’s so hard.. And during my low moments, I can’t help but be insecure. I know how amazing I am and I do love myself.. But sometimes.. The negatives get in the way. When people tell me it’s because he’s looking for other girls and that he’s just looking to break up with me and never coming back. I try not to focus on those and fill myself with positive friends and love. Anger serves no purpose at the end of the day.

    Thanks for reading.. I know it’s a little long 🙂

    • I understand. To be quite honest, if I was the guy and you returned my gift that means you are thinking of cutting all ties with me. But I do understand why you had to return them.

  8. My boy and I have been together for 4 years. We’ve had our ups and downs.. Mostly ups and we’ve been really good for the last little while. I felt that he’s been thinking about something lately and finally he asked to talk. We had dinner, great convos.. And then I asked what’s wrong. He told me he needed some space to figure things out. He’s been feeling stagnant in his personal life lately and everything that he does feels like it’s not progressing. He feels that it’s like that because he’s so selfish. Selfish with his time, his independence, his wants… And he doesn’t want to be like this. He wants to make a change but he’s not sure how and he’s losing sleep over it too. He said he needed time to himself to figure it out. He thinks it’s unfair to have me be in a non progressive state with him.. And he just needs time to think. I asked him if he wants to date others and he said that wasn’t the case. He’s still super attracted to me and I treat him like gold. I told him I didn’t want to date others either. He told me its going to be lots of cold showers and working out for a bit then…

    Then being the girl that I am.. I told him I respected him and understand. I told him I wasn’t pressuring him for anything so in case he thought so… I wasn’t. I also told him that communicating with me is much better for me than being left in the dark.. So I said this was good. Then I got choked up and started crying because I felt so sad. Then he saw, pulled me close and started tearing up too. We sat there for an hour crying, hugging and kissing. He then said he wasn’t dying and he’s going to still be part of my life. But we sat there feeling so sad. I then have him the necklace and bracelet he had bought for me and told him to hold it. He was a little shocked because he said he had bought that for me. I told him I know… But I couldn’t have it right now.. And he has to return it to me when he’s ready. He understood.

    We parted ways and its been so tough for me.
    A couple of days after, I was having a big test. He texted me to wish me luck and to give support. I thanked him and left it at that. We haven’t talked since.. I know he needs space.

    It’s been hard. Every day I do wonder if he cares, if he thinks about me… 4 years is a long time. I have a very full life so I am keeping myself busy… That’s never an issue. In a couple of weeks, I’ll probably drop a text just to say that I respect that he needs his space but I was thinking about him and hope is well.

    Is that too much?

    I’m staying strong .. As much as I can..

    • Hi MT thanks for your story, and the answer to your question is not i din’t think it’s too much. needing space doesn’t mean cutting all ties. So it go for it, after all, as you mentioned 4 years with someone is a long time. But I am bit curious though of to why you returned the gifts he got you. Why?

  9. …it but then the next day he’d be a jerk. It was annoying. So I’ve decided to give him all the space he wanted and more. I just have to deal with his emotions that are confusing and I don’t want to get caught up in the drama. If he wants a real relationship down the line he needs to grow up and CONSISTENTLY show me, not only when its convenient for HIM. Oh and get over his ego and image.
    So in hindsight, I should have given him all the space he wanted a year ago. Would things have been better? Idk. Prob not. But at least I wouldn’t have gone thru all this emotional crap ive been going thru now.

  10. My ex said he needed space several times during our three year relationship. But my interpretation of it was that he wanted to be in a convenient relationship. Whatever suited HIM was what he wanted and when I would ask to hang out or do something he would say the “I need space”. And granted I would only ask to do things once a week or two weeks. But if I never requested to do something he’d be calling me to see if I wanted to hang out. This happened a lot during the last year. It got to where I flat out pointed it out to him. He had a fit and said he was busy and he needed space and he said we shouldn’t have gotten so emotionally attached. Uh….am I to blame for him feeling emotionally attached to me? Well later on he says he feels ashamed someone will see us in public and they’ll think bad things about him. He said he’s not ashamed OF ME but of himself and the judgments of people. Wth?
    Anyways, he’s going thru a divorce and a month before his the discovery part of the hearings, he cut me off after I told him I couldn’t take his unappreciative ways and coldness whenever I asked to do something together. He said he loved me, had feelings for me, amd cared but his mind was all over the place with the divorce. He said he was unhappy with how he didn’t properly handle getting a divorce before he got involved
    with me. Altho they both were unhappy for years together.And as the divorce nears an end, he feels guilt and thinks about what his family and friends would think about him and me.
    Anyways, now we haven’t been a couple for almost two months. He acts weird around me. Hot and cold. I put a stop to that tho. Told him he needs to check his attitude, ego, and jerkish ways to the side if he expects me to talk to him. We work together, so its hard to avoid
    him as we work next to eachother.
    So….he requested space before? His wish is granted. I don’t text, email, or call him. In the beginning after our split I was sad and wanted to know WHY. But now I think to myself….WHY should I put up with his inconsistent waves of emotions. Cuz if he really loved me he wouldn’t be acting out nor have treated me with disregard. And guess what? Now he’s all nice to me everyday and I just let in go in one ear and out the other. Not rude to him but I don’t go looking for him. He doesn’t come looking for me per say, but he’s always trying to brush my hands as we pass each other or triEs
    to talk to me, acts flirty, and smiles a lot. At first I’d “fall”for

  11. i dont know what im ok with to be honest..i like him alot but he says he will not leave till his kids are older ….but I guess what is bothering me is i dont know weather i should ask him what he feeling either this week or next i cant wonder for months….i asked why hes trying to push me away and thats when he said im not trying to push you away i dont want to i want you in my life but at this moment im just not feeling it and how it can go to the next level..to let him sort things out inb his head …i did ask if it was only me he was liek this he said no its a bunch of things including family…his exact words were my head is all ocer the board ..and he feels right now he would like to talk to noone for a month…but like i said has contacted me 3 times …if he was done would he still be contacting me?

    • I would say if you are ok with the space just let him come to you when he’s ready. Just find ways to keep yourself busy and figure out what you need from this relationship and how long you want to stay on that level that you are on now.

  12. help..ive been with someone for 6 months all was great but heres the situation…hes still married but says hes hasnt been with her in over 2 years they live in the same house but seperately he said he stays becuase of his kids and does not want to uproot them from there home beccause they dont love each other anymore ….i was doing alot with him meeting his friends alot of alone time then out of nowhere he said hes not sure if he wants a relationship if he can handle it with his life the way it is (then he shouldnt of put himself out there which is what he said he wouldnt of done if he couldnt) but he said he has never had feeling for anyone until me and doesnt know how to handle it says he feels its unfair to me becuase right now he cant go to the next level of a relationship, but doesnt want to push me away, and wants me in his life still wants to see me but to slow things down, he likes me and is very attracted to me still. it has been 6 days and he has contacted me 3 times …what does all this mean i dont know what to do or how to do it , should i give him time and how much or should i ask what he is feeling since we talked about this …

    • veryconfused I would say to give him time but he did tell you that he’s not ready to go to the next level. Are you ok with just being where you guys are right now? when a says they are not up to go to the next level that means things stops there and if you agree with it then cool if not then you know the rest. I would say give him time but do you want to go to the next level?

  13. I would like to get some opinions on a text message I received from a male ‘friend’ recently.

    I dont know him all that well. We used to volunteer together but his work has become too hectic for him to continue. Plus I think the politics got to him.

    He is a very shy and quiet man and he would often stare at me and follow me around. He even blushed whenever I spoke with him. We never really got the chance to chat together away from everyone else ( and his shyness and my shyness often prevented either of us from being more forward). However, a friend of his hinted to me that he likes me.

    We have spent the last year skirting around each other awkwardly and being very shy when together.

    However, I took the plunge a few weeks ago (after learning that he had to quit the volunteering)of sending him a text telling him that I like him and it was a shame that he left because I would like to get to know him better. I even asked him out for coffee. (I have never asked a guy out before so this was a huge step for me). I understand the concept of never chasing a man, but this man is extremely shy and I knew that if I said nothing then I would definitely lose out & I would never see him again so I took that chance.

    He replied a few days later, saying, sorry for the late reply. Recent stresses at work and home have taken their toll. Im getting on top of it but need some time to sort things out. Hope you understand.

    Although I do believe him and don’t feel that he is making an excuse to fob me off, I dont really know what I should do from this point on. I thanked him for letting me know about his situation and told him that I would respect his need for space. I have no problem with that.

    But then the doubts have begun to creept in. I am not in a relationship with him and he hasnt made any real effort to get to know me since I started texting him but he is always polite and responsive when I text him.

    I guess I am having a battle between my head and my heart. My heart tells me he is being genuine and to simply give him the benefit of the doubt and to give him his space but continue to be friendly with him because he might need the encouragement to ask me out. ( He always seemed on the verge of this when I saw him). In this scenario, I would give him time to sort out his issues but then contact him in a month or so (when he is on holidays) to see how he is.

    But reading so many comments here I wonder if it s true in my instance that ‘if he really liked me he would take the time / effort’..

    Is that really the case for someone who had alot going on when I approached him? Would it be fair to drop him and stop caring simply because I didnt get the response I hoped for?

    If true friendships / relationships take years to develop then am I being too selfish expecting a very shy man to change who he is and to jump the moment I reveal my feelings by chasing after me now?

    What should I do now?

    • Hey Miss L thank you for stopping by. The comments you are reading here are different people’s personal opinion which is true to their experiences. I may be completely wrong but when a man likes a woman it doesn’t really matter what’s going on if she lets him know that she likes him he may say something like I like you too and would lik to get to know you too but at this time I have a few things going on that I need to take of and once I have them all squared away we can then hang out. Now you have also said that he’s shy so I can understand that he may not be able to to just say something to you. So there are different conclusion that can be drawn from this situation, but for me I can say is that guys are usually straight forward if they want something and it’s at their reach they will take it. But if you are willing to give him the benefit of the doubt you can do that. Just give him some time to see if he’s ok. Don’t just give up and stop caring about him as you said maybe he needs the extra push.

      Hope this helps.

    • The thing with this situation is that he has to choose what he wants to do. The way I feel about this is that although you did cheat on your husband with him prior to you guys getting a divorce, you are still a person and a woman at that he he can’t treat you like you that. If you ask me I think he’s being very hypocritical because he was OK with him when you cheated on the person that you were with to be with him and all of a sudden the idea of you cheating is bad. I personally don’t think you deserve to be in a situation as this. You should be with someone that will be with you and love you for who you are not who you were and most importantly RESPECTs you. We all make mistakes at times. Speaking from a guy’s point of view, I don’t think he wants to stay in a relationship with you any longer and him bringing all these things it find a way out of the relationship or to make him feel comfortable if he’s cheating. This is a very bad situation, if someone decided to be with you no matter what they have to do just that but if they can’t they just can’t and have to move one.

      So that’s my stand on this matter.

  14. Wow!!! I felt like that too, no he doesn’t do his part in this relationship. Anything he asks for, he gets it anywhere, anytime, if you know aht I mean. I take very good care of him!! When he comes in the door, he has a cocktail waiting, dinner is cooked, I serve him dinner on a tray with a beverage. He offers to wash dishes but I do it for the most part. I give body rubs, foot rubs, etc. I get none of that in return and I’m always talking to him about his lack of affection. He says he holds back because he can’t trust me, WTH!!! I love him and wanna be with him but this is crazy. I ask for very little, I have a home, car, decent job, and I take care of my own so that’s not what i’m looking for. I’m looking for love, affection, respect, and if you don’t want me, tell me. He says he’s not insecure but I think differently, he accuses me of looking at other men, flirting and I don’t do it, I’m justa friendly person. One of my guy friends said that he may not be able to handle the fact that I’m very attractive. But he tells me about these women that he’s had in the past and how he can have them if he wants them, I’m like well d@mn!!! I contacted him today to see where we stood and he said we’ll talk later. Not to mention, I used to bartend and he wasn’t comfortable with it, so I quit, for the relationship. It’s still not enough…

    • If you ask me MissRedd he’s very insecure and most guys wants hot women but don’t know what to do with them once they get them because they think other guys will want their woman. One thing should not really do is to beg for attention if you are not getting it then it’s not there.

  15. My boyfriend told me that he needs some space from me because he doesn’t trust me. When we started messin around, I was still married, I ended up getting a divorce for other reasons and he and I got into a relationship. Longstory short, he says that he can’t trust me even though he’s at my place 24/7, he answers my phone, shows up unannounced, etc. He’s never caught me doing anything. I’ve never cheated on him at all. This space crap is killing me and I need to know is this the end of the relationship? I have to add that everytime he gets angry, he wants to break it off. Any suggestions??

    • Hey MissRedd this is a very sad situation however people tends to be skeptical about situations like this. You said you used to mess around with him when you were still married so he’s thinking that you are doing the same thing on him because it never stopped you from doing it with him while you were married.

      Honestly I don’t know if there’s a way you can really prove to him that you are not doing it. He’s just going to have to trust you if not sooner than later things may not work out. As for him, just because you did with him while you were married doesn’t give him the right to think you will do it again.

      You need to explain to him why you were doing it that way. Explain your old situation, if you weren’t getting the attention that you needed,(not that should force you to cheat) maybe that’s why you had to do what you had to do. The question is, is he doing what he’s supposed to be doing in the relationship?

      Maybe he’s not doing his part and thinking that you may find it somewhere else thus making him a bit paranoid. But again I don’t think there’s a way you can prove to him that you are not cheating unless he has camera on you 24/7. He just need to figure out what his issues are and it’s either he’s going to trust you or he’s not going to trust you. Don’t have you stick around and wondering if he will or if he wont.

      I hope that can help you.

  16. I have been emailing this guy for over a month and finally got to meet him. Unfortunately, we had sex then and he told me he would like to see me again for more sex.
    My libido went completely bonkers and I sent him several messages about when we could meet again. He texted me that I overwhelmed him and he needs it much, much less intense. It has now been a month since seeing him and he told me he is hanging out with a girl, but that he would get back to me, and I shouldn’t worry about it. When I asked him to be friends with me on facebook, I got a text from him telling me to stop contacting him that he needed privacy, and then another text telling me to give him his space and that he was breaking up with me. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Why the difference in his attitude from one day to the other?

    • Well, the thing is it’s sad to say but once guys have sex, they really don’t care about girls unless they have no other options. Now is that always the case no it’s not but in this case he’s not really into getting into a relationship. Did you guys ever talk about being in a relationship? A guys’ interest is yours as long as he’s waiting to get it once it gets it he will try something new. That’s my take on that matter. He’s attitude changes because he feels that you want to be too much in his life. Facebook is he’s private world and bringing you into may change that. Hope this makes sense.

  17. So here’s my deal. I’ve been dating my bf for almost 2 yrs. Although we have been on and off we have been together consecutively for almost a year. He hasn’t said that i am smothering him or that he needs his space, but i guessed at it and he said yes he did. Well, my issue is the way he jokes with me…he likes to tease me about other girls…nothing sexual, just the attention he gets from them. And he says things like “my other girlfriends”. I play along sometimes, but other times i have had enough. He tells me i have nothing to worry about. I just want to know why he says stuff like that. And With the space thing, i am willing to Give that to him. It’s healthy, and i trust him. I’m out of town this weekend and I have only talked to him once. I told him I’m trying to give him space. I hope it helps. He hasn’t said anything about not wanting to be with me. Am i doing the right things? Os there something I am missing?

    • Hey Kellie thanks for stopping by. The thing is space is good however my take on this situation is that he needs to show a little more respect in your relationship. Even though it’s all jokingly he shouldn’t say stuff relating to other girls. I think he needs to understand how you feel about it. Maybe he’s not doing anything that you should worry about but make sure he understands that you can’t deal with him talking about stuff like that and it’s not respectful. The answer to if you are doing the right thing will depend on how you feel about it. You really can’t stop someone from cheating or doing what they want but if you feel that it’s good for you to give him his space and it doesn’t bother you then it should be ok. but if you do care and it bothers you then you need to reevaluate the situation.

  18. No problem nisha, I hope you find happiness and everything works out for you for the best. Don’t forget, if you have a facebook, twitter, just share our site or this page so that your friends can know to check us out too.

  19. ya itz about time i do tht make time 4 myslf n wht makez me hapy rather thn sit down n thnk of sum1 like him. Thank u so mch felin so mch better cse i could say it out loud here been keepin it in 4 al thz while

  20. I hear you, so what I would suggest is to find things that will keep you occupy because you can’t just sit around and just wait so make your time useful. Try not to leave any empty or open slots where you would spend time to think of him. When he’s ready, you are available then you guys can link up. But do yourself this favor keep yourself busy, hang out with friends stuff like that.

  21. i tryed bt he’z being sturborn dnt wanna talk n keep ignorin n ta last he sound like im pushing him 2 sit dwn n discuss nw only time wil decide bt if i c him wif another women out thre i wil deff walk straight n gv him a peace of my mind infront of her n show him i can move on n dnt need a man 2 make me hapy.

  22. I completely understand where you are going with this, however, you have to have a serious talk with him. Whether there is another woman or not you need to know what his plan is. So my suggestion to you is to make sure that you guys have a real good talk and discuss the future. Let me know what happen..

  23. im wiling 2 put 101% bt he seems 2 jst dnt care.Rite nw im confuse is he teling ta truth or thre is another women,cse if he is telin ta truth i dnt mind waiting 4 him til he cum bck bt if nt he should atleast talk 2 me n have a closure so tht i can move on in my life.When i ask him he keep saying i wont find any1 like u n dnt wana loose touch 🙁

  24. me n my bf wuz goin gud 4 1 n half year.V have age n religious diff bt it didnt bother us n nt 2 say he dont get his space he getz plenty cse v only meet 1ce aweek n he goes out everytime wif his frenz(without me)alwiz.V had such a gud understnd thn sudd he stop calin or msgn me whnever i cal him he say IM BUSY n hang up.Thz continue 4 almost 2 week thn 1 day he cald n say he is confuse n need 2 discus bout US.I wuz confuse cse as i knw thre wuz no prob between us thtz when he hit me wif his age n religious issue.When i say v wil try our best 2 fight 4 our love he kee saying 4 how long?Thn when he had no other excuses he came wif thz ridiculous thng letz take a break n let me find money cse whn i have money my parentz canot say anythng n v get married but if meantime u find any1 go ahead itz a risk im taking.wtf do i luk like a 16th year old gurl?When i ask him do u thnk itz worth fighting 4 our relationship?His reply wuz if u belong 2 me eventualy u wil b wif me n vise versa bt meantime i dnt wana loose contact wif u so v stil keep in touch as fren,so when ever he feel like calin or talking he can do so.Wht surprice me he didnt even had ta gutz 2 c me in personal 2 tel me al thz n itz stil bugging me does thz mean i have just been dumped?cse it has been a month nw thre is no cal or msg frm him :(.Itz sad tht thnz went thz way realy shatterd n have lost faith in love dnt knw hw 2 cum out of thz dilemma

  25. okay, im so confused right now..I been with my boyfriend for three years now and going on four. All of a sudden he drops the bomb…and says “I need space! to fix my life, so can we be just be friends for now??” He doesn’t want to break up with me and nothing changes, but stays the same..I just don’t understand why he doesn’t want to break up with me, but wants to be friends for now so he can have his space to fix his life..what does he really mean???.Just the other day he says his confused and wants to be alone…Also, says he really love me so much and its so hard to move on and one day he knows he has to let me go because being in the situation we are right now is hard since my family can’t accept a guy like him (he has a past)…so what am i suppose to do??? any advice??? I’m so confused…thinking negative and getting all emotional..

    • Good morning Shay, some times people don’t really want to break up with the person they are with but they need space. As I was reading your message I was trying to find a way to answer you but when I got to the last part of him not being accepted by your family that kind of made sense to me. The thing is if your family don’t accept him he may not want to stand in the way of your and your family. Do you accept him? Who do you side with in this situation? How old are you, how old is he? When he said to get his life in order what does he mean? Because why answering these questions you will have an idea of what to do. Can you find out answers to these questions?

  26. My on and off again, currently off boyfriend tells me he needs space and does not want to sleep with anyone right now but told me last night there is a coworker at work that he wants to sleep with and justifying by saying she wants to sleep with him too… (his reason for not want to sleep with me right now is because his 2nd divorce still hurts him and that he cant get over all his exes being mad at him).

  27. I have been dating a guy for a yr now. In the start things were going well until I noticed he became withdrawn, I asked If all is right he said yes. On my b day he asked if I can give him space, at that point I wonder what happened,he couldn’t tell me anything but that he needed space. I asked how much he said into the new year which is far away, as he didn’t say when in the new. I’m confused to what’s happening. He then told me he will call and check up on me, but for now I’m to leave him alone, he told me he cares as he’s not pushing me away, It’s so hard…

  28. me nd my bf had an arguement last week now hes sayin he still wants o be with me and he still loves me now the argument was over something silly and he says he needs space so waht can i do im really confused 🙁

    • Hi Kelly, people ask for space for different reasons and we deal with things differently. If he feels that he needs a few days to cool off then of course. You need to know the terms of this space. Why he wants the space, for how and make it clear that space doesn’t mean break up.

  29. I’m not even in a relationship with the guy and he’s asking me for space. What the hell is that supposed to mean. I don’t get it. We’re just friends . . .

  30. well on mother day i got sick asked to be taking home earlyer. and he seem kind of distance didnt walk me to my door nothing.didnt even call to find out how i was doing when i got sick this hurt me so i wrote him a email based on how he was acting he responded almost a week later saying he needs me time to reevalute his life and and the relationship said i did nothing wrong things seem to have slow down between us and he will call me soon …im wonder what soon means and is there a limit on when how much time is consider me time do you just give the person a break and see if they comes back or just leave it alone and move on.

  31. just the fact that i’m in this discussion means that i’ve googled this and im exactly in the same boat. there are times when we can’t help ourselves and end up calling that person & and asking him to have “the talk”, but in my past experience i think it’s better to just let the person go. if he really loves you, he will find his way and come back. one thing i try to keep on my mind is that you can’t really force someone to fall inlove with you. i was told the exact same sentence by an ex. it really hurts but what can i do? nothing! just accept it.

  32. I can relate to how you feel, but sometimes I think it’s best to let someone go and let them figure out for themselves what they want…if it’s meant to be i’m a firm believer in it will be…but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t find out where your relationship with him stands because there is no point in waiting around if he has no intentions of making it work. i hope this helps!

  33. I just don’t know if he’ll ever call though. It’s been 6 days since we’ve talked. So, I’m not sure if I should call him or continue to leave him alone. This is so hard on me…I hope it’s as hard on him too because if it isn’t then I am such a fool.

  34. wow…i can see why your really confused…gving someone space is definitely something that is diffcult to do but sometes the only way to truly know if they want to be with you as much as you want to be with them is to let them go. If his feeelings towards you are genuine then he will realize that he can’t be without you a you are the one for him. Just give it time…

  35. I drove 2.5 hours on last Friday, the 8th, to go see my boyfriend and halfway there I get a text from him saying that he thinks we should part ways but it has nothing to do with me. I was trying to surprise him because I hadn’t seen him for almost a month, and I wanted to give him all of the gifts I had for him. So I sat in my car for 5 hours in negative degree weather at his house until he let me in….he was sleeping and didn’t hear the phone calls or knocking on the door, and he was still calling me baby and sweetie and things like that. I gave him all his presents and he loved them. He told me that he’s scared of things going right with me. He still kissed me and told me he loved me. I looked at him and said, “I know you want to be with me”, and he said, “yes”. Then I said, “and I think you still want more in the future”, and he leaned over, whispered in my ear “definitely more in the future”. He said he wanted some time and space to figure himself out and fix what is keeping him from loving me as much as he should because he’s been severely hurt in the past. It’s been five days since hearing from him or contacting him. I was trying this love dare from the movie Fireproof but yesterday I was supposed to contact him to see how he was doing and ask if he needed anything. All the advice I’ve been getting is to leave him alone..when he’s ready he’ll contact me, and that he needs to respect me and by me leaving him alone that’ll cause him to have more respect for me. Any other suggestions? I really care about him a lot. I truly love him unconditionally. I want this to work out so bad, and I’ve poured my whole heart and soul into it becoming completely vulnerable. I’ve never had this much love for somebody. Oh and he still has my broken gold chain necklace. I asked if he wanted to give it back and he said he knew exactly where it was at but he still wanted to fix it or replace it. I just don’t understand it. I am so confused.

  36. dating someone outside of u would in my book be considered cheating. If someone is in a relationship with you then they should only be with you. ultimately it’s up to you whether you want to find a way to work things out, but just be certain that this is something you both want becuase there is no point in being with someone if all they are going to do is break your heart

  37. My boyfriend cheated on me nd whn i found out he told me he needd some space. we stay togethr n hv a 5 month old baby, i hd to find a place to go nd leav him with his space. he claims he ddnt cheat bt jst dated the girl. cn smbdy help me undrstnd wat it means?

  38. Men are like rubberbands. They can be stretched to the limit by not being able to feel like he is chasing the woman or if the woman is being clingy. But if the girl gives him his space, lets him call her and let him miss her, then he will bounce back and want to be with his girl. So many woman take it so personally. I did at first. I have been hurt many times by men that I suffocated. I learned that in a relationship, we need to trust our significant other until they give us a reason to not trust them. Let the man miss you, it’s healthy. It’s healthy because he will want you more when he can’t have you. Men want what they can’t have. Even if you want to see him, sometimes blow him off, not hurtfully, but just say you have plans. The anticipation of keeping the man on the edge of his seat is good. If women would do this, it will have the man see that the woman is independent and alot of men like that analogy.

  39. I am going thru a hard time with my boyfriend today is our anniversary and he asked me for time a couple of days ago yeaterday he asked me to get my syuff from his house. I do and then he says well I didnt tell you everything. So he took some of it out. He saw i was a mess i was crying this is hard for me I LOVE HIM AND HE said he loves me so what happened we never fight we never argue we are always so level.
    He says that he is not doing anything with his music and that this is why he needs time. Is Time and Space the same thing

    He says he hates to see me this way and ask that I give him the weekend to think but that there is still a possibility that he will want out after thinking so why would he take my things out and ask me to leave them


    • Time and space are two very different things, he may just need space to think about what he’s doing with his life which is absolutely normal. I can understand how upsetting it can be that he would have you take your things and then change his mind. Give him the time that he needs and let him decide what he wants to do. It really does seem from what you’ve said that he still loves you and hates seeing you hurt and maybe he’s hurting now, so giving him time to straighten things out with himself may ultimately lead you guys to having a better relationship.

  40. my boyfriend recently told me needs space and that i am suffocating him. i dont buy that, i think space is just a code for i wanna have my cake and eat it too and your in the way. if i am suffocating you then u should tell me to ease up. easy and straight forward not i want space and i cant think clearly with you around he needs time alone!!!

  41. he probably did mean it but he’s and he was probably just going through some things, so give him time to get over what ever it is he was on that day, and if the problem persist then it’s time to check him.

  42. i met this we started talking for 2 weeks and last night were talking and the last thing he says is sweet dreams then today he is a diffterent person and he says he needs to thinks about some stuff and everybody is saying just leave him along i really did like him and he liked me and we wanted to be together did he mean that or was that just a lie he usually is texting me during his breaks he is calling me and he we planned to go out on a date i planned to kiss him what happened what did i do wrong did i say something wrong

  43. I am not going to say I agree with the space thing because it’s kinda odd how when a woman ask for space the man would disagree with the chick but at the end respects it. But if it was the other way around she’ll go all hulk on his ass. Thats plain bull of the space thing cause it’s just giving the person the idea of messing around in my opinion. If two people really cared about each other they would work their issues out…and move forward!

  44. Man , i’m still totally against this whole space thing . And not only from a guy but from a woman too .

    What would really be the point of the partner in the relationship asking for a break ?

    And ok so you ask for your break or whatever and you get it, when you all get back together what are the chances that things will change and not be the same as it was before asking for the break ?

  45. I wouldn’t say negative, and am not needy! i just feel that it takes two and if that person wants their space give to them. LIFE GO’S ON…

  46. “I need space” i agree that It can mean different things but what am i doing for you to need your space. I understand lets take it slow we moving to fast. But like shay and lynn said I’ll give you 50 feet and if that’s not enough i can sure give you more. It’s not a problem for me.

  47. Its important to remember in relationship that its a two way street. A relationship can be stressful at time. I believe that everyone should take time off. Its take alot of work to make a relationship everlasting today. Space does not always mean I want to look around. It can mean I dont want to take my stress out on my relationship while I clear my mind. We need to think outside the box when in a relationship. Its is not all Black & White.

  48. I agree that someone may need their space. And like it was said you need to make sure what that space entails. Just by asking the guy, you will get a sense of where the relationship is truly going. Ladies, guys will let you know if they really want to be with you or not. It’s up to you to LISTEN to what exactly is he telling you. Space and the context in which it is said means different things. But yeah, for the most part it means: I want to look around and see if there’s something out there (if he hasn’t already done so when he says he needs his space).

  49. lmao… shay and lynn, you girls are funny… it could mean he thinks you are too needy and that you need to ease up a little. it doesn’t always mean he wants to brake up… so before you over react think and try to understand that it isn’t always something negative… you women are so negative…

  50. “Check out something for a minute and come back without having the guilt of them cheating.”

    If he’s checking out, there is no coming back. I’m not a revolving door. Come in whenever you feel like it. What the hell is that. Thats what children do. He wants space “map fut bey espace.”

  51. It’s so funny you guys are saying that, because I have always heard women asking for space. Well, I have to agree with you because if someone needs space it’s ok with me. I’ll just give them the entire area. (lol). But on a serious note, that’s why some guys lie to you guys. How is that? Well, he can’t just say he needs some space so he starts to ignore and pay less attention until you are the one asking for the space.
    Now, don’t get me wrong most guys would ask for space because they just want to check out something for a minute and come back without having the guilt of them cheating. But some guys need space because they really have too much going on and they need to be alone.

  52. wtf . what is space ?? a guys ask me for space i’ll give him space alright .

    enough space so i can get on with my life !! I am not a kid and i don’t have time to be playing childish games .

    If there is a problem then we better fix it and move the relationship foward .

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