Are you desparate to win back your ex? Are you sending a flood of communiques him/her, asking for forgiveness, asking for another chance, asking… maybe even begging?
You do not want to do that if you really want to repair the relationship and get your ex back. There is a better way to get back together. Learn to work with the natural flow of energy in these situations, using it to your advantage. Here are some strategies and advice.
Where do things stand now? Did the relationship end in a highly emotional scene and/or confrontation about something you did, or did not do? Did he/she break it off because of a continuing issue that finally was too much for your ex to bear? What was the final scene – “I never want to see you again!”, or “This is not working out. I need some time by myself.”?
You may know that when a highly skilled police officer senses his opponent moving toward him, he will use that momentum and energy to his advantage by working with that motion or even accelerating it to gain an advantage. Maybe he will pull his opponent quickly to get behind him and deliver a blow or secure a hold. He uses the momentum that is present to his advantage. And so should you.
Analyze how you feel, how you think your ex feels, and how he/she is tending now. What is the mood of the relationship now? If the relationship recently ended amid loud and angry exchanges, it may be best to have a cooling down period before attempting any reconciliation initiatives. If it ended friendly, but painfully, then wait 7-10 days and follow up with her/him to review what went wrong and try to recover.
Smothering him/her immediately with texts, emails, or calls will cause to happen the opposite of what you want, if you fail to stop and understand the energy of the moment. Your ex will feel pressured, and possibly more justified in the decision to break it off. It is human nature to avoid pressure, to not respond to a barrage of messages, and to attempt to build a wall for protection. Once a wall is erected, it takes more work to bring it down.
Start by going silent. Give him/her time to reflect, time to reconsider, time to miss you. You have to be patient and work within a planned approach to win back your ex. Let your her/him know that you accept the break up at this time. Don’t over emphasize “at this time”, but make certain it is delivered. Those three words send the message that you still value him/her and the relationship.
Start building your own self-coinfidence. Be positive, confident and strong despite the pain you feel. Become a bit mysterious and play a little hard-to-get if he/she tries to re-connect with you. This attitude is a key ingredient to getting back with your ex.
This will prepare you for the next steps to win back your ex and restore the joy you first felt in that relationship.
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