From the very early days, I liked the unspiritual sides of sex with a partner:
? The intimacy of unrestrained kissing
? Taking joy in the different sense of hairy skin
? Gazing at the responsiveness of his erection
? The intimacy of bareness
? The concept of penetration
I have been pleased with sharing physical intimacy with a boyfriend but this is very different to completing my own sexual excitement . I always knew that there was no true sexual arousal because I was aware of orgasm from the very first time that I had lovemaking . Very few women try playing with themselves before having sex.
As a natural part of a loving relationships, my partners have wanted to prove their affection by hugging , kissing and touching my body. Of course , they have liked me reciprocating a similar level of physical stroking of their body. Thereafter they follow through to intercourse and male orgasm is from their point of view an inescapable conclusion to conclude physical intimacy with someone they love.
I approved this and did not pull out my affection even though I did not personally desire sex each time. I have put effort into answering sensually and lovingly because I knew that it would pleasure my partner. My partner has always been quick to become noticeably excited so learning how to pleasure a man was an easy way to demonstrate my love for him.
Men start sex already mentally aroused and so they are disposed to take this aspect of sex for granted. Physical masturbation techniques only work if you are already aroused in your mind. Other women might talk about feeling horny or turned on but this is more likely to indicate that they are ready for sex not that they are just about to orgasm .
A therapist once asked me what I found most gorgeous about my partner. The answer was easy: first his member , next his appearance and then perhaps his voice. I’m not sure that all heterosexual women are as easy with admiring their partner’s sex organs or even that they are familiar with their own.
One of unfortunate results of the sexual revolution was to imply that abruptly women were turned from what they were before (wives, housewives and mothers) into fully motivated sexual beings.
It would be great if women did get turned on by the visual pornography that men enjoy. Sadly many women are put off by graphic images of sexual acts. Some couples do watch porn movies together but many women are not aroused by them.
Men experience spontaneous sexual agitation due to testosterone (the hormone responsible for sex drive) and by the sight of a woman’s body. Women have neither of these advantages. They have to consciously decide to achieve their own sexual arousal. This is where sexual fantasies come in.
Overall, I am sure stories are more effective than images for producing sexual fantasies and sexual arousal. Porn movies are good for getting turned on to sex with a partner but do not help me achieve orgasm during female masturbation.
I have detected (post 35 when my clitoris has been less sensitive) that my partner can stimulate me much more effectively with his fingers. Penetration is nice, indeed, but the vagina has a small number of nerve endings – it is, after all, the birth canal.
Initially , foreplay was suggested as a solution to the inadequate clitoral stimulation provided by intercourse. Unfortunately, not only women need clitoral stimulation to continue up to the point of orgasm but also, due to the sensitivity of the clitoris, it can be difficult for a man to provide the right kind of stimulation.
So when women ask about scantiness of orgasm today, experts suggest that they masturbate during intercourse. In fact, little is known about how lucky women are with this approach in practice.