Amongst the most unfortunate issues after infidelity is the constant supply of bad images that continue playing non stop in your brain.
What your mate was doing, exactly who they did it with, the place and when becomes like some sort of horrible movie that you cannot shut down. The thing that can make it more intense is the scenario has an unlimited amount of variations. For example you have no idea what the illicit partner looks like nevertheless every single day or even every few hours your mind supplies a fresh face. Or if you know the person their face becomes almost branded in your mind
It is a enormous obstacle when it gets down to discovering how to survive an affair. Each time you start to climb out of the negative imagery pit a fresh one appears to knock you down again. Some people never get rid of it. Even when the extramarital relationship ends up in breakup they will are tormented by it for years and years.
That’s no way to live and if you wish to stay in this marriage after infidelity then it is crucial you fight back and eventually win out against those negative images. It will be tough but you can do it. Stay determined and use the following techniques.
1. It’s In Your Control
Too many people when dealing with how to survive an affair tell themselves they have basically no control over the thoughts in their mind. The issue with this is who else do they think is in control?
Whether they like it or not the answer is they are. If you need to look in the mirror and reaffirm that every hour on the hour then do it. Nobody can tell you what to think or what negative images to obsess over. Only you can make that decision no matter how much you try to convince yourself that the opposite is true. Just as your marriage partner must shoulder responsibility for their behavior the exact same applies to you also when it comes to getting control of your thought process.
If the negative images in your mind keep playing out in a certain way after infidelity then learn to change their overall look. For example your mind keeps visualizing over and over the bedroom your mate carried on the affair in looked a certain way.
Change it. In place of a small space in a motel turn it into a estate with glass walls or whatever you want apart from the basic look that was playing ad nauseum.
Altering the images in your thoughts is a method of diminishing the effect in addition to slowly bringing the loop to an end. Initially the original picture is going to battle to stay the same however in due course it is going to obey whichever command you give it.
Oftentimes whenever we feel upset the breathing gets shallow and very rapid. All that does is turn on the negative image loop. In getting a handle on how to survive an affair discovering how to relax your thoughts is one of the main aspects. Utilize yoga and/or another sort of stretching exercise. Learn how to breathe deeply and remember to do it regularly.
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