Marriage, the union of a man and woman recognized by law, that’s what we all know it to be. In order to get to the point of marriage, most people become involved in a serious relationship, fall in love, which will eventually for the most part lead them to be married. Now the question is, who will be doing the asking? In the society, in which we live, men are usually the ones to ask for the woman’s hand in marriage. This is something that has been in effect for quite something and still remains in tact until now. But, the times are changing, women are becoming more independent and doing many things that men were known to only do.
These days, it is becoming more and more common for a woman to ask a man out on a date. If a woman can ask a man out on a date, then shouldn’t that mean that she should also be able to ask him to marry her or is this something that should be left up to the man? Is this a double standard? Do men feel comfortable with his girlfriend asking for his hand in marriage, or would he rather be the one to ask? When a woman ask a man to marry her, does that mean that she will have the upper hand in the marriage?
There are so many questions that can stem from this one idea, should a woman ask her man to marry her? Let us know what you think!
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well, it turned out that she was just curious if I would, she didn’t mean it to actually happen. Basically she asked me if I like her enough to marry her. Such a waste of my time and thoughts. If you women don’t mean it for real, better not to ask.
Here’s a deal people. I am freaking out and no idea how to deal with something that I am about to tell you.
I am from another country and went to kindergarten there long time ago with the lady who asked me to marry her today, well, and some time before today. She has a child, I don’t have issues with children. BUT obviously I never dreamed to marry someone who already has a child that has nothing to do with me. I am not sure what are her motivations or hidden goals if there are any. I live in US now, so maybe …. I mean there are tons of possible reasons she wants to marry me. At first I considered her proposition as a joke like old friends… but her persistence and easiness confuses me. It confuses me because I never married before and she asks me to do that like it’s something that we do everyday. I guess I am lost because I don’t know what my future is going to be like with her or without. What I mean is, if I reject I might mess up, equally as if I do marry her I might mess up too… so what do I do? My motto is you’ll never know before you try, but right now I am scared as chicken. We had long conversation of the internet about her position in life: why she had a child, why she did she divorce and etc. I consider myself as serious person and jokes like that do not fly by me. I explained her that from the childhood I assumed that at first you go to school, then university, then you get a job and only then a family. Right now I am attending university, I am a grown up and can make decisions weather to marry or not, but all I think about is school and how to be successful at it, so I can get a job. So… her proposition kind of messes with my stereotype – let’s call it “school, job, family”. She answered my questions honestly and with trust. Then I told her, since you have a child your life for yourself has ended and all you need to focus on is your child happiness and success. Then she told me that without man in her life it is hard. I told her yes – sure, but this is not something that she should be focusing on and sooner or later the man will appear. She agreed and then until today we have not touched the topic. Today she wrote the following message: “Subject: :), msgcontent: Are you taking me in wives?” – I sort of translated it word for word, but basically she asks me to marry her. As of her, she is really good looking, she works as TV host back in the capital of the country I am originally from. My perceptions of her are only positive, well we spent time in kindergarten and then we met again after 20 years through social network website. I mean, of course I would think she is crazy if she was too persistent but she is not, once again that easiness confuses me and I am taking that matter seriously. What I am saying is I don’t have enough information to make such decisions. Maybe she goes through some sort of depression so she acts like that.
So, I guess the best way to go about solving this is to get involved by asking her questions and getting the most full answers that there can be. I am asking you guys to suggest some of the questions that I could ask her. I am not sure what I want to know, but I am sure I don’t want to waste time on something that might potentially ruin my life. I am young, but too conservative to be young AND crazy. I’ve been in college for quite long time and trying to look at this scholarly. So, please help me.
P.S.: sorry I did not have time to organize my thoughts so I wrote as it came out of my head.
Okay are we in the 21st century or what. It is also not tradition for a woman to have a child out of wedlock, but I can find 5 or more sperm bank listings in the phone book. It is all about the choices we make in life. There is nothing that is not a choice. You choose to ask. He chooses to accept or decline. But be prepared either eay.
It would be better for a guy to ask the woman cause he wouldn’t feel much pressure from rushing into marrying the woman. Guys would want to know if she’s actually wifey material…but hey if a woman wants to ask feel free to do so….
Yeah i agree with Mama because a woman regardless of all the independent crap still wants to be swept off her feet and what’s better than a well thought out proposal .
Forget all that crap about how women are independent & assertive, (lol) but its tradition for the man to ask the woman. This is suppose to be one of the most important day in a womans life, she’s gonna want to tell her friends and children how you proposed.
I personally wouldn’t do it…but if a woman feels that she should or need to then what the hey…go for it!