Dear The Things We Talk About, I have read many of your blog posts and I have decided to share my story with you.

The past love

I have been dating this guy for two years now; he’s real good to me. He has all that I’ve ever wanted in a man. To be honest, being in a relationship was the last thing I wanted when I met him. After talking for a few months he wanted to take it to the next level, so we did.  The beginning of our relationship wasn’t that great because I was still healing from my previous one.  I was with my ex for four years, we talked about getting married, and having kids, loving each other for life little did I know, he was cheating on me from the beginning.  After our four year anniversary I found out the girlfriend he had before me was six months pregnant for him. So I ended the relationship and closed that chapter in my relationship.

The new Love

Let’s get back to the love of my life well at least I think that’s what he is. In the beginning of our relationship, really enjoyed hanging out with him, he would take me out every weekend, and we would go to all the fancy places.  The sky was the limit for the things he would have done for me. The sad thing was that I couldn’t open my heart to him. So, I would treat him unfairly. I didn’t respect him at all, he couldn’t tell me anything. I would only do what I wanted to do. I wasn’t trying to treat him bad on purpose, it just kept happening. Sometimes I would say the meanest thing to him and felt bad about it later. Through all this he stayed with me.

The reality check

I got a reality check on April of last year when he finally came to his senses, and told me we were through. Boy that was the worst day of my life. He told me I was killing his manhood, and as much as he loved me the best thing to do was to go our separate ways. I thought he was joking because this was the second time he ended our relationship. Two weeks went by and he didn’t call me. I called him a few times but no answer. I didn’t know what to do, so I went by his house. When I got there I saw his car so I went up to his apartment knocked on the door, guess what, he never answered the door. I went back home and I cried like a baby that day. But I never stopped trying.

The day I begged for a second chance / opened up to him

Finally, one day I sent him a text message, I think he replied hours later. I asked him if we could talk, and he told me to come over after work. That day I poured my heart and tears out to him to give us a second chance. Yes ladies I begged him to take me back. And I had him promise me that he would never leave me no matter what. From that day I opened my heart to him. I decided to take another chance with love. I asked GOD to help me change some of my ways. This man shows me how it feels to love someone and how it feels to be loved. I found myself doing things that I said I would not do. For example, I called his father every now and then. I use to say that I would never deal with a guy’s parent. I don’t even call my own father like that, (Sad, HUH!!!).  Sometime I look back over our lives and wished that I had done some things differently.   He still treats me the same. I can’t wait for the day I get to change my last name to Mrs. Smith (his last name).

Final thought

Many times we allow our past relationships to dictate what we do in our current relationship. So the message for all of you out there reading this is treat each relationship as if it were your first. Much love the things we talk about!

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I was thinking to myself one day and the big question came up “what is the key to a good relationship”? I’m pretty sure that question has been here since the beginning of relationships and will remain even when relationship are coming to an end. After doing some real thinking to myself and also getting others opinions, I’ve came up with the answer that will definitely explain itself.

For one, every relationship is different so there will never be the same solutions for the same problems in two different relationships. I know that probably doesn’t make sense right now but it will. Two people can be in the same situation, such as a cheating partner, but will react differently. One partner might decide that the relationship will not continue because they will never be able to trust their partners anymore, the other partner might decide that their love is strong enough to overcome this slight dent in their road to happiness. Now, both partners were being cheated on but because their relationships are different they were able reach two completely different conclusions.

Next, because relationships are so different every couple must find the methods that work best for them. I had a talk with one of my big brothers and I asked him how he managed to make his relationship going for so long when I know he’s crazy (lol). When he answered me, he enlightened me on I guess you can say a more mature way of thinking. He told me since the beginning of his relationship his partner and him had certain expectations set and if one day passes and they are not met then there goes the relationship. At first I didn’t understand but when I thought about it I understood it completely.

All relationships should have agreements set in place and once one partner breaks one of those agreements then they really don’t care enough to be in the relationship. So there goes my opinion about the infamous question. Since the beginning of the relationship expectations should be set and they should be kept in the minds of both partners at all times or else the interest in the relationship will begin to decrease there will no longer be a point for that relationship.

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