A perfect example, when a girl is in a relationship and she has a guy friend that she confides in or considers to be a best friend, she will likely be telling her guy friend about all the things that are happening in her relationship, what her boyfriend is doing right or wrong, etc. This friend is going to be the one that provides her with comfort when she’s going through difficult times with her man. This friend will know all of her soft spots, all of weaknesses, and obviously more than her boyfriend probably knows, so technically her friend is more in tune with her than her actual man is. By the way, the same is true for a guy that has a girl as a good friend or best friend that he tells everything to.
A man thinks that he can be friends with a girl and not have this friendship go any further, but let me the one to say, at some given point in time, either something can happen or he has thought about something happening. Feelings are sometimes things that we can’t help feel or control. They come upon you at any given moment in time. You may not at first think anything of it, but the way you may feel about a person in your friendship may not be the way the person feels about you. In your mind, you may honestly believe that your just friends, but that doesn’t mean the person feels the same way.
But wait, does this mean that girls and guys in relationships shouldn’t be hanging out or talking to anyone outside of their partner? No, that would be insane, but it’s important to limit the kinds of conversations that your having, you shouldn’t be sharing with anyone what’s happening in your relationship, or you shouldn’t be comparing your girl or guy to anyone. If at any point your friends starts to change tongue on the way they feel about you then it’s important that you snip the talking time. Don’t be oblivious to what’s going on, if you want to keep your relationship and your friendships, it’s important to open your eyes to what’s happening around you. Make sure that no one has any alterior motives and that the friendship is true and genuine.
Hey have you subscribed to this blog yet?
Don’t delay, subscribe today!
View Comments (9)
so what you are saying jin is that there still is likely to be some chemistry there between the two but it's up to them whether they act upon those feelings?
Men and women can be friends in my opinion. Say either one of the sex was feeling the other person and at the end they both made a mutual agreement that they're better off as friend is really common. But there will always be a problem for a guy or a woman to think that the opposite sex can be friends with no feelings attached.
Well to answer ur question (elisapoo) come to think of it no. it is what it is..
it seems like only women are commenting on this one, so let me give my two cent. i don't think that men and women can be close friends without their being something more to it. in a way i am contradicting myself, people that know me personally can contest to that.
ok...but would it make anyone mad or angry if your man would go out on what he wouldn't call a date with his bestie, but would feel like a date to you. Let's just say he says he's gonna hang out with her...would anyone feel uncomfortable in a situation like that?
Honestly, I would feel a little uncomfortable about it. But I would have to understand that they are bestfriends, meaning they’ve probably know each other longer than I’ve known him and she will most likely know more things about him than I do. I’ve known plenty of people who neglect friendships for a relationship, some of which didn’t last long, eventually having them trying to repair lost friendships. Now I’m not saying to choose between friendships or a relationship, I’m just using this as an example of something that I am not willing to do and I wouldn’t want my man to do. If he has a bestie that’s a girl, by all means continue talking to her the way you use to. Yes, I will be uncomfortable about it at first, buts it’s something I got to get use to. Just make sure I get the same amount of attention.
question for the ladies.... how comfortable would you be if your man spends as much time talking to his bestie (another girl) as he spends talking with you or how comfortable would you be knowing that his bestie knows just as much or even more about him than you do...would this at all bother you?
I would have to agree with SMH. I don't have many girlfriends but rather have more male friends only because with girls things tend to be overly dramatic and complicated. I don't necessarily think that the analogy " matches are to guys as gasoline is girls" fits the profile of every guy/girl relationship out there.
I have many male friends myself. I actually find it easier to talk to guys than it is to talk to girls. When it comes to the comparison of guys and girls to gasoline and matches, I don’t completely agree with that. I think that completely depends on each person in the friendship. If there is a mismatch in personalities then there definitely can be an explosion, but when you get the right guy and girl together there can be a wonderful friendship. I’ve been bestfriends with a guy for almost 8 years now. Yes, feelings and a relationship, whether good or bad, may occur because of it but I think that it depends on how they’ll allow those feelings to affect their friendship that will determine how their friendship will continue to be.