How to get your ex back? Caution: make certain that you have this is something that you have truly thought about and truly want before proceeding to read this post!

Ok, if your reading this either you really want you ex back or your just curious, either way, you’ve been warned.

So, quick question for you that’s reading. Why do you want him back? If your answer is,”I love him and I can’t see myself without him” then that’s a good enough answer for me.

So now what do I do to get him back before he’s gone for good? Every relationship is different and this really depends on what terms your relationship ended in order to devise the optimum plan on how to win your ex back. But what I can do is share some general ideas on different ways to approach this situation.

If your ex is willing to have a conversation with you, then ask them if you guys can get together to talk! If he agrees, then pick a nice, quiet place where just the two of you won’t be interrupted to talk. Personally I think that this should be done face to face but really it’s up to you. Make sure that when you meet up with your ex you already know what it is you want to say, because this isn’t the time to fumble or drop the ball. Honesty, really is your the best policy. This is a good as time as any to lay your heart on the line. Difficult I know, but you’ve come this far and there is no way to turn back now. So just go for it. Let them know that you can’t be without them and that your life isn’t the same without them.

Now for the hard part….let them tell you how they feel. Be patient if they really don’t know what to tell you or how they feel. Don’t be surprised if they can’t answer you and need time to process and think about all you’ve said and even more so be prepared in case they don’t feel the same way you do. Relationships are hard, but sometimes we have to learn to take chances and in the process get our hearts broken. If they choose to not want to pursue the relationship then just think of it as their lost and that it wasn’t meant to be anyways.

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Communication in a relationship is a key element in making it last. I know what your thinking, tell me something I don’t know. Well keep reading and I will hopefully shed some new light on how communication can help you have a long lasting relationship. Now before I give any advice, I have been in a relationship with the same guy for 11 years and I wouldn’t be sharing unless I had some idea of what I was talking about. Now that I’ve established that….here are some things that we’ve done that’s helped us lasts this long and can hopefully help you in your relationship.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, that’s a fact some days will be better than others but the question is how do you get over those difficult humps that you may come across in your relationship. Personally it took me quite some time to talk about how I felt, if I was upset or angry I kept it inside but overtime I only found that this made me angrier. I didn’t realize the detriment this was bringing to my relationship until my relationship was almost no more. So obviously I quickly realized that their were some changes that needed to be made in the relationship.

 Talk!  If your angry about something, let your partner know respectfully that your angry. Key word: Respectfully. No need to shout or be rude but let them know that your upset about whatever it is they said to you or did. But be sure that when your ready to talk, you’ve had time to collect your thoughts and know how you want to approach the situation. 

 Give your partner time to express themselves. Let them reciprocate how it is they feel about what your telling them, because maybe they could be upset about something too or have something that they would like to share.

Always establish an open door policy in your relationship. Let your partner know that they can come to you and talk to you about anything, and that you will (not you will try, but you will) have an open mind about!

Always consider each other’s feelings, especially when it comes to making decisions that may affect the both of you or maybe just you. Let them know that you cherish their opinion and that you guys are a team.

Always establish boundaries, meaning you should let each other know off the bat the things that make you happy or things that upsets you or irritates you. You’d be suprised how many couples don’t take the time to talk about this. Ex. If you don’t like people going through your personal things, like your wallet then let your partner know that this is not acceptable, but warning, once you say something like this be prepared to talk about “why” as many women will ask!

Always be aware of each other’s feelings, don’t say things to spite the other or make them angry. Guard your words, because as many men may know women never really forget once you tell them something that’s out of place, it will eventually come back to bite you in the you know where.

These are just a few pointers on how to communicate in  a relationship. If you have any comments, questions, or things that have worked for you in your relationship then feel free to comment below!

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Are men and women so different that they can possibly have different meanings for the famous words “I need some space.” Yes many times when a woman’s definition of I need space can be a lot different than a man’s definition of these words. If you have not read the post on what men mean when they need space then go check that post out but for now we are focusing on our women and they mean when they say these words.

Many times when a women is in a committed relationship, very seldomly is she looking for a way to step out, rather many women are looking for a man that is just as committed as she is. Now this is not to say that you don’t have your women players out there looking to have a good time, while trying to hold down a relationship all at the same time but for the most part I want to believe that most women have their man and are looking to keep their man. So if your woman was to tell you that she needs her space, what is she asking you for exactly? This is a definite tough one for the simple fact that most women don’t ever really know what they want.

Space is a word used for women to get you either out of their hair, meaning you might be a little too attached for her liking, space can mean that she needs time to think about what she’s doing with someone like you and whether or not the relationship is worth her time, space can mean that she just needs time to be away from the stresses of a relationship and just needs some “me” time, space can mean that she is trying to get your attention by scaring you into thinking that she might not want to be with you. Space for a woman, can basically mean a whole lot or really nothing at all. So ultimately it depends on where your relationship is.

If your in a relationship and everything seems to be going well and all of a sudden a woman is asking for space then maybe you need to be asking your woman some questions and trying to get done to her real reasons for asking for this space. If things in the relationship aren’t going so well, then as a man you need to definitely get what I like to call “your chips up” meaning you need to be putting in some overtime in your relationship if you are looking for it to work. If a woman is asking you for space then find out what kind of space she’s looking for, maybe she’s stressed out or maybe your doing something that is constantly upsetting her or making her unhappy. If you want the relationship to work, then make sure that you guys have good communication as to why things are the way they are and what it is you both can do to make it better.

xoxo

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This is a straightforward, non-subtle, and certainly an unapologetic blog about the hardships, obstacles, and burdens of black women. Too many African-American women subject themselves to pain and violence for love and a couple of minutes of pleasure only to be betrayed and disrespected by their loved ones or at least that is what is being claimed. “B**** where is my dinner? Why is this house filthy? H** where have you been? Why these kids not fed? and Why my momma lights not on at her house? The queen of soul said it best “all I’m asking for is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T when I come home.” Sadly, but true many women come home from a long and hard day of work to crying babies and to hear a shouting husband who has been home hours before her demanding domestic work already be done, as if he is incapable of doing such tasks his self. Sorry Alicia but I don’t wear an ‘S’ on my chest. Such demands are preposterous, and if she doesn’t she is stubborn, unsupportive, and the reason why black men date white.

 For so long women of color have been blamed for everything wrong, from the high incarceration rates of black men, to the personal failures of every man. It seems as if being a woman in its self is a burden, if they have to carry that responsibility in addition to child birth, taking care of the home, shifting ourselves to placate men and our bosses, raise children, and somehow still manage to meet the increasing pressure of conventional beauty standards. Women are not given the respect and honor that they deserve without question.

—- J.S.E

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“Many of us as Christians get discouraged when we can’t find our “soul mate” our “other half” the one to “complete our world” but I believe that there is a bigger picture involved. At times, some individuals may get discouraged because they can’t find a man or women and may even start to believe that there is something wrong with them, i.e. their appearance, character, or event their  personality. But has it ever occurred to you that God may be saving g you from a disaster? I recently wrote this as my status on Facebook, and it inspired me to write on it. My status says “To my fellow Christians: You know, to me, being single doesn’t mean you can’t get a man. I think being single simply means you’re waiting for God to fix that man or women and yourself before he puts the two together Wait on the Lord.” Isaiah 40: 31 says “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”  If we as Christians are more patient for our soul mate, He will give us strength to make it through the hard times in that relationship; He will allow us to rise above the little things that may be the doorway to a heartbreak and a terrible break up; He will give us to ability to run into the arms of the one he has prepared for us, instead of leaving them because of their faults, and He will enable us to be holy and to walk with an everlasting holiness as we profess Jesus as our Lord and Savior. So to my fellow Christians, “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and he shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say on the Lord!” (Ps. 27:14). God Bless!”

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It has been said that once you get married, you and your spouse become one and many people may not know but that also does include your bank accounts. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours type of deal. Yet there are so conflicting point of views when it comes to this topic. I believe that yes, both you and your partner should definitely have a joint account once you become husband and wife because you do in fact now function as one unit rather than seperate entities. Both of you should come to an understanding though on how exactly the money that comes in should be spent or what not. Now I do hear this a lot so I’m going to put it out there. How about if one day your spouse decides to leave you and they take all the money with them, so your basically left out in the cold. Well to that I would suggest that you always do keep some money on the side for a rainy day. Now the quesiton could become, well should I tell my partner about this little bank account on the side. And really I think that depends on the type of relationship you and your spouse have. If you two share a very close relationship and are open to talk about anything than I don’t see the harm in telling him/her. But if you forsee it as a problem then maybe it can be your well kept secret. I know a lot of women like to save a little something on the side and I personally don’t see anything wrong with that and it may very well be just to pamper yourself or save for a day that you might be a bit dry and you need the extra funds. This is a topic that many people do encounter in their relationships and it is one that shouldn’t be taken lightly so on that note, I want to open the floor for discussion. What do you all think about this? Let us know!

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